London, England -- Trainers at a South London kennel have put the clamps down on a dog who kept breaking himself and his pals out of their cages for midnight raids on the kitchen. Video cameras caught the pooch, named Red, unlocking the doors of the dog's enclosures one by one. To prevent further late night breakouts, the staff has added extra security devices to Red's kennel.

MADISON, Wis. -- It was 64-year-old Jane Buffett's final wishes to send John Kerry to the White House, and her obituary reflected it. Buffett passed away Sept. 25 from cancer, but when her husband placed her obituary in two local Madison, Wisconsin, newspapers he had them print, "Jane fought to live long enough to be able to vote this November. To honor her memory, please do everything you can to elect Kerry." According to husband Roger, his wife was outraged over George W. Bush's decision to invade Iraq.

BUCHAREST -- Apparently, dog food doesn't taste better than a human hot dog. A dog ate a Romanian man's penis yesterday after the man cut it off thinking it was a chicken's neck. According to the Rompres news agency, the mongrel mishap occurred when 67-year-old Constantin Mocanu rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken that was keeping him awake at night. As he puts it, "I cut it...and the dog rushed and ate it."

SYDNEY -- A vibrating sex toy shut down an Australian airport for almost an hour yesterday (Oct. 4). Reuters reports that police evacuated an airport terminal after airport staff heard a strange noise from an airport trash bin. Bomb experts were about to be called in when a passenger came forward to claim the contents of a package left in the bin -- a battery-operated sex toy.

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