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Weird News
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2004-10-05 - Weird News
Wireless Flash News

Hail To The Sheets

Minneapolis, MN -- If you can't decide whether to vote for George W. Bush or John Kerry, try fantasizing about them sexually.

That's the advice of "Sexocrat" Hauser Rhodes, who wants to create a "Sexocracy" where people are open about their sexuality instead of being repressed, as he claims Americans are.

Rhodes wants men and women both straight and gay to imagine what it would be like to do the nasty with Bush and Kerry and pick the candidate they find most sexually exciting.

One transgendered person who followed Rhodes' lead fantasized about kissing Kerry in a hot tub filled with champagne.

Rhodes also knows a woman who dreamed about Bush and envisioned him confessing that, "He had a weapon of mass destruction somewhere in his shorts...but had trouble finding it."

Of course, if heterosexual men find fantasizing about Bush and Kerry repugnant, they can imagine sex with wives Laura and Teresa.

Rhodes figures folks should use this method because in his words, "We're going to have to live with whomever gets elected for the next four years and we damn well better see if they sufficiently arouse us, since campaign promises, like nuptial vows, are rarely kept."

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