Jersey City, NJ (WFN) -- No one knows exactly what is said behind closed doors at the White House -- but a New Jersey author is willing to imagine the conversations.

Author Bruce Carlson has just published a new satirical book, "The Secret Conversations of Bush and Cheney" (dangfunnypolitics press) that he says predicts the would-be conversations between George W. Bush and Dick Cheney based on their public personalities.

One hypothetical discussion includes Bush wondering why Cheney has a secret, undisclosed location and muttering, "I'm No. 1, he's No. 2!"

Carlson claims he's been pretty close to knowing what's been said behind closed doors since the beginning of the administration.

For instance, a few years ago, he sent out a fake e-mail featuring a bogus Bush bragging about how much he can bench press -- and later read in a Bob Woodward book that the president does this a lot.

Appease an angry Great Volcano by winning 10 Tribal Challenges in SKIP-BO Castaway Caper! Take advantage of this incredible bargain and get two hit puzzle games for one low price!

More Weird News From 2004-08-17 The day's offbeat stories from around the world. • Tiger Woods Cursed By A Black Tiger • Flash Lites: Rip 'N' Read Pop Culture Recap • Ladies' Fastpitch Softball Has Found A League Of Its Own • Solo Career Not Hard To Handle For Black Crowes Guitarist • Author To Give Away Money To People Who Read His Book • Household Gurus Are Made, Not Born • Bush And Cheney's Secret Conversations Satirized In New Book • Teens Not Looking Forward To Crappy School Bathrooms • Eye Procedure May Leave Some Starry-Eyed • Filmmaker Attempts Pot Movie That's Not Dopey • Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs   « Current Weird News Stories