London, England -- Can you get your hands on an enormous quantity of post-liposuction human fat? According to popbitch.com, employees of Celador, a London-based TV production firm, are currently trawling plastic surgery clinics in hopes of getting enough fat for a new show. Producers plan to give the goo to one lucky lardbottom in hopes it inspires them to shed some pounds. So far, none of the clinics contacted have been willing to part with their fat.

SINGAPORE -- Making whoopie will be the topic of debate at Singapore's budget debate next week. Leaders of the island nation, which has had a decline in births in recent years, are trying to find new ways to inspire couples to procreate. According to "The Straits Times," politicians plan to suggest all sorts of nookie-inspiring solutions, including tax incentives and longer maternity/paternity leaves.

BUCHAREST, Romania -- A new sound application for cell phones lets folks pretend that they're stuck in traffic, caught in a thunderstorm or passing by heavy machinery. The SounderCover program adds the background noise of your choice to your calls when you push the down arrow key, and can be used to make excuses for coming into work late or cut off unwanted callers.

SYDNEY -- A Melbourne, Australia, couple has bought the rights to the popular sporting chant "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi," to ensure it never falls into the hands of other countries. Greg Davies and his wife Diane spent $3700 for the rights to the chant and say, "It's an Australian slogan and we just want to keep it for the Australian public, that's it."

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