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Doctor Jokes Category

» You Don't Want to Hear These!

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

  1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  2. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
  3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
  4. Spot! Spot! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
  5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  6. Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie.
  7. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  8. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  9. Damn, there go the lights again...
  10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
  11. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  12. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
  13. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  14. I hope his family won't miss him.
  15. And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
  16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  17. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?
  18. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  19. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!.

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