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» Microsoft Winders XP

It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

Also note:

  • The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
  • My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
  • Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
  • Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
  • Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
  • Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
  • Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

Additional features:

  • OK = ats aww-right
  • cancel = hail no
  • reset = awa shoot
  • yes = shore
  • no = naaa
  • find = hunt-fer it
  • go to = over yonder
  • help = hep me out here
  • start = crank it up
  • stop = ternit off
  • settings = sittins
  • documents = stuff I done done
  • programs = stuff at does stuff

Also note that Winders XP does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders XP:

  • addin mershene = calculator
  • colering book = a graphics program
  • jupe-box = CD player
  • inner-net = Microsoft Explorer
  • IRS = M/S accounting software
  • IRS2 = M/S accounting sofware with hidden files
  • pichers = a graphics viewer
  • tiperiter = a word processor
  • outhouse paper = notepad

We sincerely regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Arkansas edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

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